If you just smile . . .

For the past four months, I have been happy every single day. There hasn't been one moment when I haven't been walking around without a huge smile on my face. And whenever anything doesn't go right, you always manage to say something that makes it all okay.

I'm sat here, knowing I'm not going to see you for a week, but I'm wearing my hoody that you sprayed with your aftershave, and I smell of you. Feeling like you're giving me a big hug. Being reminded that you love me. And I'm smiling even now. Always smiling.

I have never felt like this before. That whatever happens, and whatever anybody says, nothing can bring me down. Absolutely nothing atall. And it really is the best feeling in the world, because I am so happy to finally just be me.

Before, when I went away, I really didn't want to leave, because I didn't want to be away from you for a week. 2 weeks. Almost 3 weeks. And even though I missed you, it really wasn't so bad, because when I got back I was so excited to see you. And we had an amazing day together just hanging out and doing not alot.

I don't know what it was, but yesterday something really clicked. And I really realised that this is completely real. Together, me and you are completely real, and nothing has ever felt more real, or important, or perfect, or right. I'm not just talking about boyfriends, I'm talking about everything, relationships, friendships, people, and life in general. Out of everything that has ever happened to me, you are the most real thing. The first real right thing in my life.

So I want to say thankyou to you making sure that not a day goes by when you don't make me smile. Thankyou for always making me happy. Thankyou for always making everything okay. Thankyou for being with me, and most of all, thankyou for just being you. I love you.

I don't blog, I write.
Just, Me.

The One.

Dear You,

I'm not saying that I think that everybody has their "one", or their "soul mate" because there are billions of people in this world, and you can't meet all of them. I'm sure that there are thousands of other guys I would be compatible with, who I could work with, who I could be happy with, and possibly spend the rest of my life with. And I know that many people would think it's silly of me to say this, because I'm still only young, and I do have the rest of my life still to live. But in this moment, right now, I know I want to spend all of it with you.

Every single moment I spend with you, makes me love you more and more. Every time I say goodbye to you, I think 'there is no way I possibly love this guy any more than I do right now', and the next time, you better yourself, which I never thought you could do.

I love being at your house, and spending time with you and your family. I also feel guilty, because you've only been to my house once, and you've hardly even spoken to my family, but recently, I seem to have spent more time at your house than I have at home! Your family make me feel so welcome, and they always make me feel part of your family. I love that. They are the funniest and kindest people I have ever met, and I feel so happy, and proud to be a part of that.

I love the way you spend time on your "little games". You have your "nerdy time". It makes me laugh. You know it makes me laugh, and I take the piss a bit, but I hope you don't mind. I know you don't mind. You know I'm joking. You know I love you - even if you are a nerd!

Basically, I just want you to know that I do, and always will love every single little thing about you . . . even if we don't last for The F Word. It's a long time, and we have a long way to go yet, but I'm excited, and nervous, and every day I can't wait for the next. I'm not saying you're "the one", but I'm saying you're my one, for as long as you want to be, and whenever you do. I'm yours, always and The F Word.

I love you.
I'm not blogging, I'm writing. Just for you.
Just, Me.