I don't know what to do anymore. Everything reminds me of you. Going for a walk, and I pass our bench, in the car, and I remember when we walked there, on one of our days out. In my room, I look at the cupboard where I used to keep all the random little things I found or bought for you. And the teddy you bought me, the one that sits on my shelf and watches me while I cry.
When I'm thinking about you, I'll take it down from the shelf and hug it, pretend its you. Wipe my tears on you. You made me cry, you can wipe my tears. How sad is it that some teddy is the only thing I have?
You won't talk to me. Every time I'm online and I see your name pop up, I die a little bit more inside. Yes, maybe that is cliche, but it's true.
For two weeks, yes I did cope. I was fine, I just hated you, resented you for what you did to me. But then there was that day when everything changed. And I can't cope anymore. Everyday, its like I'm further away from when you loved me. I'm sinking into this darkness, this world where I'm the only person that exists. I don't want anyone else. Nobody else can make me smile anymore. Its just you. Only you. And you don't care if I smile or not. So I don't.
This isn't a blog anymore. It never was. It was all for you. Like when you write letters and don't send them, that's what this is. It's all my letters to you. I'm writing to you but you don't read them. You don't know. You don't care.
Christmas. I'm going to write you a letter. I'm going to put everything into it and send you a letter. That will be my Christmas present to you. Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything back. I don't know why I ever did. Why I could ever believe you cared.
Never going to be over. I'm sorry.
I love you.
Always, I promise.
That's not what you want to hear, but then you aren't hearing it, are you.
And it's just the truth anyway ♥
When I'm thinking about you, I'll take it down from the shelf and hug it, pretend its you. Wipe my tears on you. You made me cry, you can wipe my tears. How sad is it that some teddy is the only thing I have?
You won't talk to me. Every time I'm online and I see your name pop up, I die a little bit more inside. Yes, maybe that is cliche, but it's true.
For two weeks, yes I did cope. I was fine, I just hated you, resented you for what you did to me. But then there was that day when everything changed. And I can't cope anymore. Everyday, its like I'm further away from when you loved me. I'm sinking into this darkness, this world where I'm the only person that exists. I don't want anyone else. Nobody else can make me smile anymore. Its just you. Only you. And you don't care if I smile or not. So I don't.
This isn't a blog anymore. It never was. It was all for you. Like when you write letters and don't send them, that's what this is. It's all my letters to you. I'm writing to you but you don't read them. You don't know. You don't care.
Christmas. I'm going to write you a letter. I'm going to put everything into it and send you a letter. That will be my Christmas present to you. Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything back. I don't know why I ever did. Why I could ever believe you cared.
Never going to be over. I'm sorry.
I love you.
Always, I promise.
That's not what you want to hear, but then you aren't hearing it, are you.
And it's just the truth anyway ♥
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