I am so scared.

Scared of seeing you. Scared of seeing how you react when you so me. Scared most of all, of you not reacting atall. Of you looking at me, but not seeing me. Casting your eyes over me, as just one of many. Of you not even recognising me of someone you knew. Let alone someone you loved.

The one thing I ask, is that you don't ignore me. I want to warn you of how I will act, because I tell you now, I will not cope with seeing you. I will sit, and shake, and I won't be able to breath. My chest will hurt, and my heart will beat so hard that I will be able to hear it. You will be able to see it beating through my chest. I will be breaking inside. I won't keep it together. I will cry, and I will be back to square one again. And you will be the only one who can make it better.

When this happens to me, come a sit with me. Put your arm round me, and help me to breath. Wipe my tears. Don't let me break. Put your hand on my heart and calm me down.
Tell me you're sorry. And mean it.
That's what I want.

Still missing you.
Always loving you.
♥